Life is about perspectives and our journey is about expanding those perspectives.
I sit here in the train on way to Delhi enjoying the joys of August Kranti Rajdhani and the fact that there is power to charge my laptop and mobile phone.
Mobile phone – perspective… What about that? Let me tell you a short story.
I left office at around 4, got into the ATM (building next to office) and then got into a cab for Mumbai Central. Half way through I realized that the mobile phone had been left to cool itself over the ATM machine. Stopped by at a PCO, and called up a couple of colleagues at the office number. A few tries later, got in touch with one of them and requested her help. She went to the bank only to be told by a lady there that she will need to prove that I have indeed asked her to get the mobile.
When I call up again (on reaching Central), I get to hear the missing piece of info. and so I call up the lady (God bless her) and tell my story. Kavita (my colleague) goes there again and she gets the phone. Another colleague of mine then sprints from office to Churchgate, takes a fast train and gets to Mumbai Central – at 5.21 (ample time to spare – given that 5.40 is departure). He recognizes me siting with laptop open and communicating with my colleagues over mails.
What happened to me? At the moment of realization of “missing” phone a sense of distress. “Oh my God – how daft and absent minded of me?” A stark contrast to a thought that had come to me as I boarded the cab (outside the bank), “awareness is about being aware that you are aware…” And here I was – aware of my distress. Of my attachment. As realization sunk it, the mind played games – what if, what if not. And some voice also spoke, “so what? Does the world collapse – is your world in that?” I must admit that peace did not come, but a face to face encounter with my own self.
I have a hypothesis which I shared with a friend of mine the other day, “we as much do not accept our superior as much we shirk confronting our inferior”. Being in the moment and aware of it, is oxymoron – a deafening silence. Actually Hindi has a better word, “nistabdh” – I can’t translate it.
Where am I right now? A realization of the game of life and a lesson – that the game goes on. Nothing changes – every moment is a choice. The other day, I was reading a lecture by JK, and after a few lines, I found myself in communion with myself in a deep introspective silence all the way to office (in the morning train). Enquiring from someone, JK asked, (not verbatim) “…so what is there in your self esteem that you hold on to? It is not what we have that we fear or what we don’t have what we fear but the fall that we fear. We are constantly placing ourselves on a pedestal and when the fall happens, we suffer. Is it necessary? Remove the pedestal and you won’t fall. Then you will be able to see the reality as it IS – and when you see yourself the way you are, without judgment or desire, you will find peace. Judge, and peace is not; love and peace is.”
What does it mean – and awareness of the pedestal of “spiritual growth”, the pedestal of “knowledge”, the pedestal of “emotional maturity” – all pedestals. With it comes my judgments – oh my God, “how could I do something like this?” The “Who Me!!! Syndrome”
I see that I have meandered – in between witnessing the farewell exchanges of a family at Borivli station. Back to the phone – actually the story does not matter anymore. I write as I write. Seeing the flow of life; the train chugs along, the moments go by.
I go off to enjoying the journey – what is journey? Suddenly, each word seems to pick on a new meaning and a new context.
हमारे सफर में एक हमसफ़र है
कोई आपने साथ है
कोई एक ऐसी बात है
कोई तो एक राज़ है
उस राज़ की राह में मैं मुसाफिर
कभी खुदा तो कभी काफिर
अपनी ही खोज में खो गया
हिमगिरी की एक बूँद नया
जा रहा हूँ मैं एक पथिक
अपनी ही घटना में हूँ घटित
यह राज़ जो मुझ से छुपाया
ऐ खुदा तू तो निर्दय हुआ
पर जब उसका हल भी तूने बताया
तब बनाया मैंने तुझे खुदा
इस उल्झान में ही मैं बाँध गया
अपने से ही दूर हुआ
मेरा हमसफ़र ही तो है तू
जब अक्ल आई – तो क्या मैं, और क्या तू?
Chalo then – I sign off for now…
I left office at around 4, got into the ATM (building next to office) and then got into a cab for Mumbai Central. Half way through I realized that the mobile phone had been left to cool itself over the ATM machine. Stopped by at a PCO, and called up a couple of colleagues at the office number. A few tries later, got in touch with one of them and requested her help. She went to the bank only to be told by a lady there that she will need to prove that I have indeed asked her to get the mobile.
When I call up again (on reaching Central), I get to hear the missing piece of info. and so I call up the lady (God bless her) and tell my story. Kavita (my colleague) goes there again and she gets the phone. Another colleague of mine then sprints from office to Churchgate, takes a fast train and gets to Mumbai Central – at 5.21 (ample time to spare – given that 5.40 is departure). He recognizes me siting with laptop open and communicating with my colleagues over mails.
What happened to me? At the moment of realization of “missing” phone a sense of distress. “Oh my God – how daft and absent minded of me?” A stark contrast to a thought that had come to me as I boarded the cab (outside the bank), “awareness is about being aware that you are aware…” And here I was – aware of my distress. Of my attachment. As realization sunk it, the mind played games – what if, what if not. And some voice also spoke, “so what? Does the world collapse – is your world in that?” I must admit that peace did not come, but a face to face encounter with my own self.
I have a hypothesis which I shared with a friend of mine the other day, “we as much do not accept our superior as much we shirk confronting our inferior”. Being in the moment and aware of it, is oxymoron – a deafening silence. Actually Hindi has a better word, “nistabdh” – I can’t translate it.
Where am I right now? A realization of the game of life and a lesson – that the game goes on. Nothing changes – every moment is a choice. The other day, I was reading a lecture by JK, and after a few lines, I found myself in communion with myself in a deep introspective silence all the way to office (in the morning train). Enquiring from someone, JK asked, (not verbatim) “…so what is there in your self esteem that you hold on to? It is not what we have that we fear or what we don’t have what we fear but the fall that we fear. We are constantly placing ourselves on a pedestal and when the fall happens, we suffer. Is it necessary? Remove the pedestal and you won’t fall. Then you will be able to see the reality as it IS – and when you see yourself the way you are, without judgment or desire, you will find peace. Judge, and peace is not; love and peace is.”
What does it mean – and awareness of the pedestal of “spiritual growth”, the pedestal of “knowledge”, the pedestal of “emotional maturity” – all pedestals. With it comes my judgments – oh my God, “how could I do something like this?” The “Who Me!!! Syndrome”
I see that I have meandered – in between witnessing the farewell exchanges of a family at Borivli station. Back to the phone – actually the story does not matter anymore. I write as I write. Seeing the flow of life; the train chugs along, the moments go by.
I go off to enjoying the journey – what is journey? Suddenly, each word seems to pick on a new meaning and a new context.
हमारे सफर में एक हमसफ़र है
कोई आपने साथ है
कोई एक ऐसी बात है
कोई तो एक राज़ है
उस राज़ की राह में मैं मुसाफिर
कभी खुदा तो कभी काफिर
अपनी ही खोज में खो गया
हिमगिरी की एक बूँद नया
जा रहा हूँ मैं एक पथिक
अपनी ही घटना में हूँ घटित
यह राज़ जो मुझ से छुपाया
ऐ खुदा तू तो निर्दय हुआ
पर जब उसका हल भी तूने बताया
तब बनाया मैंने तुझे खुदा
इस उल्झान में ही मैं बाँध गया
अपने से ही दूर हुआ
मेरा हमसफ़र ही तो है तू
जब अक्ल आई – तो क्या मैं, और क्या तू?
Chalo then – I sign off for now…
Is per chacha Ghalib yaad aa rahe hain:
ReplyDeleteNa tha kuchh to khuda tha,
Kuchh na hota to khuda hota;
Duboya mujhko hone ne,
Na hota main to kya hota!