Muse | On washing clothes, awareness | 3rd May '09

A forward once from a friend had it that we are here to learn lessons in life. And that we will keep getting things back till we learn the lesson.

I just completed washing clothes. Mind you - this is not the modern version of washing machine et. al. But the traditional ritual. Dip the clothes in a bucket of water, and then wash them. This is one thing in life (as far back as I can remember), I did not like. Rather, must confess, that I hated washing clothes. They were such a bore. But the universe time after time, provided me with situations where I had to wash them. Week after week. All on my own - poor me!

Now the paradox. Today, I am in a position to buy a washing machine. More than that, I have the space to keep one. But I am not inclined to buy one. "Why waste so much of water?" That's one thought. "Washing machines are good for sturdy big clothes, but not for delicate ones!" Ah - old wives tale; or should I say in my case, young bachelor's tales!

Let me confess, I have grown fond of washing clothes. You see, it is part of my structure now. If I don't spend an hour or two doing that over the weekend, what will I do? The joy of finding out the right amount of "soapiness" in water after the detergent - does wonders to my sense of ego as the personal agent! The joy of watching my own self, your my thoughts as I wash clothes.

Thoughts - well, that sets me thinking. They say that in our most private moments, our real self (or an aspect thereof) reveals itself to us. Washing clothes is an intensely private activity. With nothing between me and my clothes. Just the awareness.

Awareness - did I use that word. Am I aware of my thoughts as I wash my clothes? Or for that matter as I do anything? Am I aware of how my hands move, how the muscles contort to provide the rubbing action, how much water am I utilising? Are these trivial questions?

There is the story of a Zen master who for 10 years practiced Zen. One day, he goes to visit another master. He enters his hut and as he sits, the master (2nd one) asks him, "So, where did you keep your umbrella as you came in - to the right or to the left of the door?" The Zen master was embarrassed - he did not know the answer. And so he chose the 2nd man as his master and studied Zen under him - AGAIN!

Awareness. So what is awareness? How different is it from 'alertness'? A soldier on the battle front too is aware - or is he alert? I guess (and I am not sure) that awareness has to do with a sense of recognition of the present moment, without a judgment or a desire to act. Alertness is the sense of not just recognition of the present, but an anticipation of the future.

Ah. Definitions. How convenient is it for humans to provide a structure, a definition, a name - to box things. "Thingification" - as Kantha (my HR guru) calls it.

So where was I? On washing clothes? Was I aware or was I alert as I wrote this? And now you know why I like washing clothes now? It is an intensely private activity. And I can be with myself.

Myself - did I say myself! Does that mean "my-self" or "my thoughts"? What is it that I like and have grown fond of? My narcissism on the "enhanced self awareness while washing clothes"? That perhaps is for another blog :-)