Saturday, April 18, 2009

Musings on self | Meaningful Reflections | 18th Apr. '09

I was cleaning up my mailbox, and chanced upon a mail that I had sent to quite a few of my friends quite sometime back (last year). I had been through a few intense human processes at that moment of time, and had shared my reflections.

Reading them again, I found them meaningful and relevant even now. So I paste them here. The manner of writing is inspired from Carl Rogers:

1. It is not necessary to be a facilitator; what is important is to be a facilitative person.

2. If I run after a professional membership (of ISABS), it will elude me; if I try to be a person, it will be rewarding in itself (whether I become a professional member or not).

3. You don't become perfect after becoming a professional member.

4. The challenge is to reach a stage of "reflection in action" – that is something rewarding in itself.

5. I cannot hope to change myself by making action plans; nor can I change myself by lazing around – the key perhaps lies in accepting and then transcending.

6. Acceptance is not merely acknowledging and taking it as part of you, but not having judgments about it.

7. We will forever be lonely in life; I can fight being alone, but I cannot fight loneliness. Loneliness is not about not being with someone; it is about not enjoying my own company enough.

8. It is ok to be weak – so seek care and nurture. I am a human being and as long as I keep an overall perspective on growth, accepting weakness of the moment is not a digression.

9. In fact, some of the moments that gave me maximum strength and sparked a fire within me that burns have been those where I have been the most vulnerable.

10. I am willing to be hurt. Resisting or trying to be strong does not help.

11. "Process" is neither positive nor negative – it is my own judgment and connotation that makes it positive or negative.

12. Accepting myself for who I am and what I am is the most difficult task. The struggle continues. As soon as I accept one thing / aspect of myself, another one crops up.

13. Self growth is a never ending journey. And at times it is tiring – perhaps that is when I need to stop looking at it as a task to be accomplished. I cannot (not yet) and want to win over that freckle or the irritating part of me.

14. Reality has multiple faces – what you see could be different from mine. Accepting that multiple faces is not easy.

15. Personal growth is a question of choice made at that moment. Sometimes it is ok to choose to not grow – perhaps I need that stability at that moment. I should choose my growth path.

16. No moment is ever lost or does not come again – the karmic cycle comes, albeit delayed.

17. All "processes" are not ends in themselves. The attitude of, "how can I benefit from this" reaps rewards than, "I need to imbibe this process". Fanaticism of all forms does not help.

Today's additions:

18. Emotions are with me all the time. My willingness to acknowledge them is the first step to understanding them. In doing so, I understand myself.

19. Acknowledging and understanding of emotions is not only about "what " is happening to me, but "how"? What are the triggers, the hot-spots of mine and thereby what are the life scripts that I have and I live on?

20. Being "in the moment" is tough - considering that there is a life script that I tend to slip back onto so easily.

21. Sometimes, life is all about simply sitting still, have the wind ruffle your hair, a sense of contentment as a fed cat - with nothing to "do" the next moment. When the urge to chase (either the world or my own self development) has been silenced: in that moment lies the potential of transcendence.

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