So is this a beginning? Or is this a continuation? I am supposed to be back. Well, what does that mean? I am wondering myself. Having blogged for quite some time, at a furious pace, as if every thought was worth a precious gem waiting to be lapped up, I typed out quite some of my experiences / thoughts / ideas for a couple of years. This was a few years ago.
And then came the silence. It was like a night. A sense of retreat. Words did not want to come out. They wanted to be contained. They wanted to be within, as if to engage with each other and commune in that silence. And so for the next couple of years, I was silent, with an occassional blog post here and there.
In due course, I even lost the password to my blog. Much trail and tribulation followed before I could get it back and now I learn that the company has been taken over by Google. Well, I could not care less, as long as I managed to get back access to my blog. For some time, I actually thought, I had lost it all. And that earlier blog posts would just trail off into the vast anonymous world of the Internet. But it seems like, that for now, I can claim them to my fame (or notoreity, as the case may be).
Beginnings...
Coming back (previous readers of mine know I meander a lot and I am not ashamed about it), the last few months have seen me get an urge to write. First, I wanted to trace my ID and reclaim it. That happened. Then spontaneous thoughts came by: 'what would you want to write about, Ashish?' asked the voice within. Damn - there is that word again, 'Inner Dialogues'. I had told a friend of mine once that that would be the name of my first book. Well, someday... So anyways, I sort of let those questions pass by. A couple of months ago, I was seeking guidance in life from a Tarot deck (yes, I am a bit cuckoo and am happy that I am). The guidance I received was to give expression to my talent and said: 'Artistic Expression'. And what do you think I did? I thanked it and continued with life. You see, I was too busy, with 'things of consequence'. Busy fretting and fuming about life and worrying about things I could not control. Of course, I was also busy doing work - both inner and outer. And I thought that because I was helping someone edit a book, my work with her could pass off as artistic expression. How wrong was I. It was her work - not mine. Sheepishly, I now realise, that I had to find my own way of artistic expression.
The inner clamour started again slowly till it reached a crescendo. So today I did one more round of guidance (for something unrelated). And the guidance comes, yet again... 'Artistic Expression'. Now once can be a fluke, but twice - nah... I am not that scientific to compute the probability and then wish it off. I guess, you would say that I would be an ass, if I were to ignore it this time. But I also wonder what does that mean? In what manner or form, do I give an Artistic Expression? My general fantasy tells me that I should do something artistic. Huh. how enlightening!!! Like what? Paint? Sing? Draw? Dance? And I can't do these for nuts. But a more fundamental question beckons: what is being artistic about? What does it mean to be an artist? And what does the act of expression mean? You might say this is a quibble, but should I not try to understand what it means rather than what I mean of it? Or perhaps both? And refine my own understanding? So here am I, trying to decipher the meaning of the term: Artistic Expression...
Artistic...
The adjective Artistic comes from the noun Artist. Now, the Google god tells me that the word 'art-ist' (/ärdəst/) comes from early 16th century when it denoted someone who was a master of the liberal arts. The word comes from the French artiste, which comes from Italian artista, which in itself comes from arte (meaning art), eventually tracing the root back to Latin ars, art-. The Online Etymological Dictionary (http://www.etymonline.com) opines, "Originally used especially of the arts presided over by the Muses (history, poetry, comedy, tragedy, music, dancing, astronomy), but also used 17c. for "one skilled in any art or craft" (including professors, surgeons, craftsmen, cooks). Now especially of "one who practices the arts of design or visual arts" (a sense first attested 1747)."
So, one of the essential element in the art of being an artist seems to be 'skill'. This seems obvious when we take an example. Let us take painting. In earlier times, before the advent of the industrial era and shops, the painters had to make their own paint. Aspirants spent years apprenticing with a master learning the basics before they started doing their own work. They experimented with the colours, the pigments, the dyes to make their own variants that suited their own style, composition and final placement of the work they were undertaking. In today's world, the 'paint' part of the art of painting is for most practical purposes (for people like us), a pre-packaged commodity bought off the shelf of a supermarket. Yes, that said, there are many other skills needed to paint and I am not saying that we should go back to the old era. I am trying to explore what it may mean for myself to be an artist. Voila, it means that first, I need to be skilled! But what does it mean to be skilled? I can keep going iteratively on this, but I think at some stage, life has to be made simple.
So assuming that we are all in agreement with an over simplistic definition that a skill is something that we can do habitually, let me therefore turn to the question: how does one develop a skill? Keeping aside complex cognitive-behavioural theories, a skill develops simply as a function of practice. When taught right, and practiced with dedication, a person can and does develop his/her skills. Think of the moment when you rode the bicycle the first time. How awkward was that feeling? And then sooner than we know (if we have been at it), we all reached a stage of life, where we could cycle and talk - at the same time. It got integrated in our life. What that does mean? As I see it, it means that the knowledge ('know how' of how a bicycle works) is not sufficient. One needs to be able to sit on it and pedal away. And that comes with practice. Skill may include or exclude knowledge. For example, I may not know the mechanics of engine technology or air flow dynamics but can have the skill to drive a four wheeler. If I practice a lot, I can perhaps drive different types of four wheelers and in different types of terrain. But that just makes me a skilled driver. I am sure that no one will say that I am an artist at driving a four wheeler.
So what makes someone an artist if mere skill is not enough. We go back again to etymology and it tells us that the word was used originally for those who practiced the arts presided by the Muses. Now the Muses were the Greek goddesses and inspiration to / of the people who followed the subject they presided over. The word 'muse' comes from them and a sagacious reader may have noticed the title of my blogpost - but that is for another day and another blog. In the Greek times, life was not (so I suppose) as differentiated as it is today. Scholars studied various subjects. Aristotle wrote on philosophy, logic, ethics, aesthetics, biology, metaphysics, physics, theatre, linguistics, poetry, etc. This is partly due to what I believe was their love for wisdom and partly due to the fact that unlike today, where there is a pre-existing abundance of a body of knowledge in each area of life, the people back then were in an exploring mode. In a way, they were not burdened by the past and could explore a lot. Ok, so I come back to my point of the Muses.
Now, these Muses were the Goddesses who inspired people in what they did. Often they were remembered at the beginning of an event, just like in India, we worship / invoke Goddess Saraswati as the Goddess of wisdom before a classical dance performance or a literary event - for she is the Goddess of knowledge. However, the Muses were more in number. At some places, it is mentioned that they were nine, others mention them as three or even four. The online Encyclopaedia Brittanica (http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/398735/Muse) mentions, "There were nine Muses as early as Homer’s Odyssey, and Homer invokes either a Muse or the Muses collectively from time to time. Probably, to begin with, the Muses were one of those vague collections of deities, undifferentiated within the group, which are characteristic of certain, probably early, strata of Greek religion. Differentiation is a matter rather of mythological systematization than of cult ..." Our good friend, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muse, mentions that the Muses were the nine daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne ('literally memory'). "In later tradition, four Muses were recognised: Thelxinoë, Aoedē, Arche, and Meletē, said to be daughters of Zeus and Plusia or of Uranus." Wikipedia goes on to say, "The Muses were both the embodiments and sponsors of performed metrical speech: mousike (hence the English term "music") was just "one of the arts of the Muses". The nine subjects (along with their corresponding Goddess) overseen by the Muses included epic poetry (Calliope, She of the Beautiful Voice), history (Clio, The Proclaimer), song and elegiac poetry (Euterpe, Well Pleasing), lyrical poetry (Erato, The Lovely), tragedy (Melpomene, The Songstress), hymns (Polyhumnia, She of the many hymns), dance (Terpsichore, Delighting in the Dance), comedy (Thalia, The Blooming) and astronomy (Urania, The Heavenly).
So, now we can see how and why the word artist has a slant for someone who is skilled with the area presided by the Muse. My curious mind asks, 'but why was this so?' The other point that strikes me is that they were Goddesses, i.e., they were the representations of the feminine. What may that mean? Well, now you will accuse me of sucking you into this endless game of uncovering one meaning after another. For the purpose of this blog, I stop here (and let you run your mind) as I move on to the next exploration.
Expression...
Now lets come to the next piece of advice I have for today, "Expression". My good friend Google god once again leads me to the Online Etymological Dictionary, which this time describes the word as a noun and goes on to say this: "early 15c., "action of pressing out;" later "action of manifesting a feeling" (mid-15c.); "a putting into words" (late 15c.); from Middle French expression (14c.), from Late Latin expressionem (nominative expressio) "expression, vividness," in classical Latin "a pressing out, a projection," noun of action from past participle stem of exprimere"represent, describe," literally "press out" (see express (v.)). Meaning "an action or creation that expresses feelings" is from 1620s. Of the face, from 1774. Occasionally the word also was used literally, for "the action of squeezing out."
Aha. So if we read this carefully, the word that calls out to me is 'feeling' (as also 'pressing out' but the latter is obvious, to me). Yes, you got it... I will now ask, 'so what is a feeling?' Again, I take the help of the Online Etymological Dictionary, which defines feeling as a noun, "late 12c., "act of touching, sense of touch," verbal noun from feel (v.). Meaning "a conscious emotion" is mid-14c. Meaning "what one feels (about something), opinion" is from mid-15c. Meaning "capacity to feel" is from 1580s." As an adjective, feeling comes from "c. 1400, "pertaining to the physical senses, sensory," present participle adjective from feel (v.). Related: Feelingly." I am tempted to explore the word 'emotion' and as a noun it comes from, "1570s, "a (social) moving, stirring, agitation," from Middle French émotion (16c.), from Old French emouvoir "stir up" (12c.), from Latin emovere "move out, remove, agitate," from assimilated form of ex- "out" (see ex-) + movere "to move" (see move (v.)). Sense of "strong feeling" is first recorded 1650s; extended to any feeling by 1808."
So, where does this mass of etymology leave us. Confused. Yes, and yet at the same time, it speaks something interesting. That 'expression' is about pressing out the feelings, and feelings are themselves a 'conscious emotion' that can be related to the 'physical senses'. Thereby, something its about making something concrete. Oh, and yes, you got it right yet again, as to what I would say... Feeling is traditionally a feminine quality. Need me to continue more? Go figure.
Artistic Expression...
Now if we take a moment to reflect back, what may this mean? What may the advice of 'Artistic Expression' mean? In light of all our etymological and classical explorations, what is the simple meaning we can take home? I venture to give my own inference - feel free to have your own.
First, let me look at the word Artistic and see what that may mean. Keeping in mind the fact that the Muses were feminine and that these Muses presided over certain knowledge areas, we now see why people who were skilled in those areas were called artists. But why is it that only these areas had a muse. Why for e.g., sword making did not have a muse? Was it because none of the areas presided by the Muses were not exact sciences and accomplishment in these spheres required one to not only have the knowledge and skill but also the blessing of the Goddess? In other words, when I use a hammer or a sword, I take power in my hands; but when I work with poetry, while I use the words, they flow through me. We can learn the syntax, grammar and vocabulary but if that alone was enough, all of us would be poets. No matter how much dancing I learn, the real dance comes when the life energy within flows i.e., when there is a blessing from the Goddess. It is not an act of will, but an invitation to surrender.
Which brings me to the next point about 'expression'. I take the simplest explanation that an act of expression is about concretising something of the emotion that is in the inside. It is about taking something from the inner mental recesses to an outer form, which can be seen in the outer physical / concrete world. It is about listening to the inner stirrings, and taking them out in the outer world.
So the job of an artist is to be skilled at making explicit the inner feminine that wants to emerge. The consecration of this inner feminine presupposes the existence of a form and structure, of a masculine. One can see that the artist has to first have the knowledge and then build the skills before he/she can venture to express; both of these require hard work and discipline and a boundedness of a structure. Only with this masculine structure in place, can an artist go about about giving expression to the stirrings of the inner feminine. She pours out as thoughts, ideas, images, inspirations, verses etc. Because she is the life force herself. In the Kundalini tradition, the life energy of the universe is the 'she' - the 'Chit Shakti'. She is who permeates this universe and lets it flow.
Continuing...
Ah, I suddenly seem to have a halo of enlightenment around me? Don't you see it ;-) Well, for me the penny drops as to why the advice on 'Artistic Expression' continued with the warning, "This card signals that your artistic talents are in need of a creative expression. You have hidden talents that lie dormant. This trapped energy can make you feel tired, restless, and anxious..." And rightly so, that has been the reality for me for some time. As I write this, and pound away at the keyboard, I feel a sense of flow, a sense of energy, a sense of direction, a sense of guidance, a sense of surrender. It feels that the fingers have a connection with the brain and then without me trying to filter or assess or understand, they move about like in an orchestra I can see what it means to have the link between the inner and outer. And what it means by Artistic Expression. Of course, by the time, it goes up on the blog, and you read it, I would have edited it, proof read it and sanitised it for faux pas. But then, this process is indicative to me of the power of listening to the inner. Of flowing and yet having a structure.
Perhaps, I might be here (on the blog) full time. Or perhaps part-time. Or perhaps never again. It does not matter. Maybe I might start painting tomorrow - who knows. Or dancing. Or cooking, which I love. But what matters is that in this moment of time, I feel I am doing something meaningful. I feel as if this act of blogging has been an act of Artistic Expression. So would would you say - is this a beginning? Or is this a continuation?
